It’s all in the Eyes - Part 1

Love at first sight- some say it’s taboo, others are die-hard believers! Me? I love the romance of it, and while I think love at first sight is really ‘lust at first sight’, the die hard romantic in me still falls for it every time! Whether you believe in it or not, an instant connection with somebody of the opposite sex is pretty much a guarantee of a follow up date. So how can ‘love at first sight’ help you get a date?

It’s all in the eyes

We all know eye contact is important, in fact it’s rude to not look somebody in the eyes- but when it comes to love and first impressions it takes on even more meaning. Eye contact is the biggest teller of whether you and that potential significant other will hit it off or not! And what you do with your eyes could fast track you on your way to agreat relationship.

Powerful eye contact immediately stimulates strong feelings of affection. A study called “The effects of Mutual Gaze on Feelings of Romantic Love” shows that locking eyes with an attractive stranger helps put the match to the flame of love. Anthropologist Helen Fisher says it is basic animal instinct. Unrelenting eye contact creates a highly emotional state similar to fear. From our last Dating Diva blog post, we remember that PEA, the chemical released when you are in love, is the same chemical released when you are feeling anxious or scared. When you look directly into someone’s eyes, his or her body produces chemicals that jolt the sensation of being in love.

So how exactly do you use eye contact to your advantage?

On average, when talking, ordinary people tend to look at one another only 30-60% of the time, however people that are deeply in love tend to gaze at each other for a much longer period of time. Psychology Zick Rubin ran a study called ‘Measurement of Romantic Love’ and found that people deeply in love gaze at each other 75-80% during conversation and are slower to look away at an intrusion. This ‘eye contact’ method is still used by psychologists during counseling to work out how much affection couples feel for each other.

It also happens to be remarkably handy information if you want to inspire someone fall in love with you! If you look at someone you like 75% of the time when they’re talking to you, you trick their brain. The brain knows the last time that someone looked at them that long and often, it meant they were in love. So it thinks OK, I’m obviously in love with this person as well, and begins to release phenylethylamine (PEA). PEA is a chemical cousin to amphetamines and is secreted by the nervous system when we first fall in love. PEA is what makes our palms sweat, our tummies flip over, and our hearts race! The more PEA the person you want has pumping through the bloodstream, the more likely he is to fall in love with you.

While you can’t honestly force someone to adore you if he’s not remotely interested (they won’t let you look into their eyes for that long, for a start!), it is entirely possible to kick-start the production of PEA using this technique. Try it. I think you’ll be pretty impressed with the results. Give someone the sensation of feeling in love whenever he’s with you, and it’s not such a huge leap of logic for him to finally decide that he or is!

The Dating Diva

Posted by Gina() on 09/28